Filler!

I don't have much to say this week, I've been traveling and hanging with my kids and I haven't been near the internet much at all.  But, I didn't want to break my stride this early, so I figured I would drop by and give you folks an eyeful of awesome stuff I've seen around the ol' www.  Hope you're having a great week, I have been!

If you haven't seen Wil Wheaton's Tabletop gaming show yet, go watch it now!  It's a great place for beginners to learn about the gaming world, and it's awesome to get to see nerd culture icons freak out as their characters are devoured by zombies.


Sourcefed is a great place to get news, in an entertaining and fun way.  I don't watch news because it bothers me, but I watch Sourcefed because they make me laugh and have a wide range of opinions and backgrounds.


Rainn Wilson (Dwight from The Office) has put together an awesome channel, full of celebrities and nerd stuff... and it's all positive.  No crazy hatred or meanness, just folks talking about what makes them happy.  And it's pretty funny as well.


Ok, that's it for now, hope you have a great week.

Thanks for reading,
buh bye then

Sacred F*cking Words

*Spoiler: This blog will contain language your mommy told you was bad.*

The other day, I was talking with my fifteen year old daughter about her (cringe) "love life."  It was horrible.  Not because I'm one of those deluded parents who thinks their children will never grow up and fall in love and do awful things to their bodies, but because I know that I will spend the rest of my life watching my kids get their hearts broken.

"He's so good to me, Daddy.  I love him."

And I realized recently that parents have been censoring the wrong words, protecting their kids from words that don't mean anything, and letting the important words slip through without notice.  Here's an example:

Imagine a ten year old girl, hanging from the monkey bars at school.  She has sparkly Disney princess shoes on, and pink and purple bands are rotated along her braces.  Her bright green eyes go wide as she finds a boy standing near the ladder, awaiting his turn to cross.  "Fuck off, Timmy," she says.  "I just got up here."

Do you feel rage picturing that scene?  How could a little girl talk like that?  Didn't her mother teach her better?

Yes, she did.  I know this because I made her up in my mind, and her mother hates the f-bomb almost as much as she hates meatloaf.

Here's a scene (absolutely true, although I still don't really believe what I saw) I witnessed in the grocery store the other day:

A little boy, not more than six or seven years old, is buckled into the child seat of his shopping cart while his mother loads groceries onto the counter.  He has a blue stain around his mouth and a lonely lollipop stick stuck to the front of his tiny Polo shirt.  He sees a picture of the President on the cover of a magazine and points, "Mom, look!  It's Obama!"
The woman sighs as she hefts a sack of potatoes, "I see, honey."
"I hate Obama, right mom?"
"Yes, honey."

What the hell?!  I wanted to scream, "He's five goddamn years old!  The only thing he should hate right now is broccoli!"

But I didn't scream.  I gritted my teeth and fought back the angry bile and squeezed the shit out of my Charmin.  Although, I guess technically it wasn't mine yet, since I hadn't paid for it.

And therein lies the rub (not the toilet paper, the stuff up in italics).  Parents recoil in terror when a little girl says "fuck" or "shit," but we bandy about words like "love" and "hate" without thinking.  Dad hates the bill collectors.  Mom loves Tom Brady's ass in those white pants footballers wear.  Mom hates cop shows.  Dad loves beer.  Timmy hates getting his hair cut.  Little Susie loves her Barbies more than anything in the world.

We teach our kids that any positive or negative feelings we have towards someone or something equate to love and hate.  We don't do it on purpose, but we do it.  Love and Hate are both huge words which carry connotations which affect everyone in the world.  Wars are built on those words.  Murder.  Marriage.  Family.  Children.

"Please don't cuss around my kids," I said.  At least eight million times since I became a father.  I was scared for my babies' ears.  They're all innocent and beautiful and not yet corrupted by the world.  But now I see it differently.  Fuck, shit, ass, bitch, damn, hell, dick, etc... these words are not going to corrupt my babies.  The only power those words have is the power we give them.  They'll learn them and use them on the playground no matter what we do.  They like them so so so much, because we have made them sacred.

Really though, the words that we should be making sacred are words like Love and Hate.  These are the words we should teach our children to use sparingly.  "Fuck" is just an expletive, "Love" is dangerous.

Times... They are a-Changin'

Hey, all you internet people, how the hell is it going?  Good, I hope.

If you're a regular reader of the blog, you may have noticed that I've recently changed some little things.  Just so you know, I plan on changing more.  I'm going to make this thing mine; hopefully I'll turn it into something I can be proud of.  We'll see how it goes.

I've been a horrible blogger for quite some time now.  I'm sorry about that.  I would love to be one of those people who has a new post every week (or even multiple times every week) but whenever I hop on blogger to start writing, I realize I don't have anything to say.

It's my own fault.

Since I published my first book, The River Runes (which is free this week on Amazon until Friday) I've been trying way too hard to make sure that I don't say or do anything that is going to offend or piss off readers (or potential readers or reviewers or other authors or baristas or pizza makers or monkeys or guys in prison or girls in prison or random Presidents or etc...). 

I got scared off when another author, who had several books out already and was doing pretty decent sales, told me that I better not ever offend anyone.  "Other authors might tank your reviews, or start taunting you in forums and stuff" and "I've got cyber bullies after me because I gave a two star review..."  Let me tell you, as a newbie without a single clue, I was well and truly frightened.  So I deleted the low star reviews I had done, and did my best to be all sugar and rainbows for the next two years.

Sugar and rainbows are damn boring.

So I stopped posting, despite high promises.  I didn't have anything nice to say most days, so I didn't say anything at all.  For months.  Again and again and again.

Sorry about that.

Another problem I've run into, as I've tried to figure out what I should post about as a writer, is that most writing topics have been covered ad nauseam by every writer and wannabe on the internet.  And the truth is, as a reader of writing blogs, I don't read multiple blogs on the same topic unless it's controversial.  For most writing topics, (editing, cover art, not making one-dimensional characters, etc...) there are no differing opinions.

No one is saying, "Fuck editing your work.  Just publish your first draft and watch the reviews be awesome anyway."

So it's tough to find something to write about writing that I believe people will want to read.  There are things I want to say, but I have been unsure of how to say them. As I already admitted, I don't want the Angry Authors and Reviewer's Cartel coming after me.

But I've decided I don't care anymore.  I'm going to post what I want to post about, and if it pisses someone off, they are free to not read my blog just as often as they like.  I'll blog about writing when I have something to say about writing.  I might talk about my puppy, Amelia (who is cuter than your puppy, and every other puppy, ever), or my kids, or delicious coffee, or I might review a book, or social issues I care about, or whatever I damn-well feel like blogging about.

So yeah.  I'm not promising a schedule yet, but I'm aiming to start with once a week and we'll see where it goes from there.  I just want to have fun with it, and I hope someone else might enjoy it as well.

Thanks for reading.

On The Edge Excerpt

First, I want to say welcome to all the new readers of the blog, I'm very excited about how the giveaway went and I can't say how much I appreciate all the tweets and Facebook shares and other types of support everyone has shown. You're all my heroes! :)

I've already sent off emails to the winners, and I just want to say congratulations!  I hope you guys and gals all like your SWAG.  I'm especially excited about the custom stuff, I would love it if I could see pics of the Gavin English stuff in use at some time in the future.

And now, since I've been busily working rather than thinking of something to write a blog about, I'm going to post an excerpt from the newly released, On The Edge (Gavin English Stories).

In 2002, Olivia Teeter turned fourteen years old. Her birthday party was small. Very small. Only her mother showed up, and she drank too much brandy and passed out before they could light candles for the cake.

It wasn't that Olivia couldn't make friends—she was a cute girl, with short, sporty hair and a great sense of humor (by fourteen, Olivia was convinced that her sense of humor, and most of the other things she liked about herself, had been passed down by her father). No, the reason that Olivia sat eating cake by herself in front of the tv was that she didn't know any kids her age.

She was home-schooled because her parents mistrusted the public school system. Too many kids with guns and teachers with dirty minds and school lunches filled with gluten and processed sugars. So, for five or six hours a day, five days a week, Olivia sat at a lone desk in her dad's trailer while he taught her about Science and History and English.

Once her slice of cake was finished, Olivia rinsed off her plate and sliced a piece for her father. She knew he wouldn't eat it, but she wanted him to know that she was thinking of him.

Her dad was mysophobic, so terrified of germs and getting sick that by her ninth birthday, he had moved into his own sterilized trailer in their back yard. For twelve to fifteen hours every day, Chris Teeter cleaned that tiny trailer with bleach and a handful of other toxic chemicals. Every week, he filled his own garbage can with rubber gloves and sponges and those thin, white hospital face masks. None of it was ever used more than once.

But Olivia loved him. Her father didn't cut into her every chance he got, like her mother seemed to. He never called her stupid or told her she was worthless. In fact, he made her feel like the most special person in the world. Olivia was the only one allowed in her dad's trailer, and the only one that he would allow himself to touch. He could still hug her, brush her hair, tickle her til she was afraid she might pee her pants. Chris Teeter never missed a chance to tell his daughter that he loved her and was proud of her.

That's why, even though his trailer smelled bad from all the cleaners, Olivia loved to visit with him there. In the trailer, she could pretend that her mom was nice, or that she didn't even exist, or that she was the one who locked herself away from the world.

As she opened the back door, her mother yelled from the living room, her voice slow and slurred from drinking, “Tha's right, 'Livia. Go on out to yer daddy. Tell him how mean and drunk I am. Tell him you love him like you alwaysss do. But don't f'get to tell him his wife is still here, doing all the hard fuck'n work while he'sss out in that gordamm bubble he built...”

Olivia rushed through the open door and slammed it behind her. She didn't understand why her mom had to be like that, why she had to be so angry with her dad all the time. He couldn't help the way he was. It was in his brain, and you don't always get to choose the things that happen in your brain.

She hurried across the back yard with her dad's slice of cake balanced safely in both hands. When she reached the front door, the smell of bleach was overpowering like always, and there was a note sticking out of the doorjamb. Olivia frowned. When her dad put notes out like this, it usually meant he wasn't up for company and had probably spent the whole night cleaning something nobody could see.

The young girl sighed and pulled the slip of paper from the door.

-My dearest Olivia and June,

I'm sorry for being broken. I'm sorry for so many things. Unfortunately, I know that you will never understand how much I have loved you both.

June, I wish I could have been the husband you deserved. I hope that one day we'll meet again in a world where I don't have to worry about things like I do in this one. Maybe there I will be what you need and deserve.

Olivia, you are an entire world of joy, wrapped in a glowing smile and knobby knees. One day, I hope you look back at the time we spent together and know that I couldn't have done that for anyone that I didn't love with every fiber of my being. Don't grow up to be afraid like me. And never settle for a man that is less than perfect, because you are perfect.

I love you both,

Chris—Daddy

Tears covered her face before the door was even opened. She knew that everything was different. Worse than before. She dropped the cake, barely noticing as the plate exploded on the ground at her feet. She stepped inside.

It was nearly four hours later when her mother found her out in that trailer, sobbing with her arms wrapped around her father's legs.

June screamed when she saw her husbands face, purple and swollen, his tongue dry and sitting just outside his mouth. The noose was made of electrical cords, wrapped in rubber gloves so that the cords never touched his skin.

As always, thanks for reading,
buh bye then

Want a Kindle Fire HD? or I'm Launching "On The Edge!"

Today is the day, folks!  There's a lot going on that I want you to know about, so I'll do my best not to forget anything.

First, today I am launching the second Gavin English novella, On The Edge and you can get it right now for your Kindle app or device for only $1.99 by clicking This Link.  :)

Also, to celebrate the launch of the new novella, the first Gavin English story, To The Bone is free for your Kindle all this week.  Go get your copy right away, and please help out by letting your friends know.  Here's Another Link Just In Case You Missed It ;)

And to go along with all this Gavin English goodness, we're having a big ol' giveaway this week, right here on the blog.  There are a lot of ways to enter for your chances at one of the prizes, so go through the list and do all you can.  The more you participate, the better your chances of winning!

What can we win, Ken?

Hmm, well for starters: a 7" Kindle Fire HD with custom On The Edge hard case to keep it safe.

Also up for grabs:

Two $25 Amazon gift cards
Gavin English book covers messenger bag
On The Edge cigarette/money case
and one On The Edge mouse pad

Plus to up the stakes a bit, if we can get On The Edge into the Kindle Top Ten Paid this week, I will add a second 7" Kindle Fire HD to the giveaway list so we can have another winner!

Here is the Rafflecopter, get your entries in now and come back every day for more chances to win!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

"On The Edge" Launch and Giveaway Next Week!!

Agh!  I suck at blogging all the time, I know it.  Sorry.  However, I think you'll forgive me this time.

Why?

Because next week I'm launching the next Gavin English novel.  So I've been writing and editing an writing and editing and writing... you get the picture.

I know, I'm supposed to be doing that stuff all the time, right? 

Yep, and I have been.  But in the last few weeks the juices have been flowing like crazy.  I've finished the novella, On The Edge (Gavin English Stories), started two new books (both horror related, both pretty exciting), and... AND...  AND! I've been working on promotion for the launch of On The Edge.

But Ken, I thought you sucked at promotion (awkward question mark implied)?

Oh, Timmy (yes, today I've named you Timmy.  I think we're both okay with it) I do suck at promotion.  But I'm trying.  To The Bone (The first Gavin English novella, just in case you didn't know that already) is going to be free all next week in celebration of the launch of the second novella (again, it's called On The Edge.  Just in case you missed it) and I've submitted it to lots of mailing lists and websites that tell folks about free ebooks.  Hopefully, a few folks find their way to the novella, read it really fast because it's awesome, and then click the link in the book that will take them to buy the sequel (which will be only $1.99!).

So next week, you can get To The Bone for free from Amazon (but I mean, if you wanna read it now, you can go snatch it up HERE for your Kindle device or Kindle app for only $1.99.  (My new puppy, Amelia-picture below- says it's totally worth it)



Who can argue with that?

Anyhow, other awesome things that are happening next week... hmm what to say...  Oh yeah!  Remember the last time I blogged (like eight million cups of coffee ago) and I said something about a Kindle Fire?

Oh yeah, you totes did, Ken.  What about a Kindle Fire?

I'm giving one away.  For the launch of the new Gavin English novella, I'm holding a giveaway.  There will be a 7" Kindle Fire HD with a custom, On The Edge hard case to help keep it safe.  There is also gonna be some other awesome custom stuff, but I'm saving that for next week's promo blog.  There will be pictures and everything!

So that's probably it for now.  Come back next week.  Tell your friends.  Be awesome.

Thanks for reading,
buh bye then

Why Go Indie?

This is a blog post I did a while back, for one of the blogs that hosted during my book tour of The River Runes.   I'm re-posting it now because I still agree with the things I said, and I think I have a lot of new readers that may have missed the tour. Plus, The River Runes has a new cover!

Why Go Indie?

I like being in control. That isn't the only reason, but it is certainly the reason that pushed me to self publish rather than go the traditional route. I love the fact that I get to choose my own cover art, title, launch dates, etc...

I searched the web and read a thousand articles and blogs before I made my decision. It wasn't easy, but once I chose, I was happy with my choice. Other than half a dozen hasty query letters I sent out the very second I finished my first draft of The River Runes, (before I had read anything about the publishing world) I haven't done anything to reach a publisher. I have no problems with traditional publishing and I may go that route with some of my novels in the next few years, but for now I love being indie.

Another reason for me to self publish is the challenge. I love to be challenged. Not only do I have to write the words, I also have to make sure the book is edited and formatted and worth reading. Cover art, marketing, how much to charge... it's all up to me to decide how it gets done. I'm still learning and testing the waters in order to find the best ways to reach readers.

There are bumps in the road, for sure. Being self published means there is no advance, no editor, and in my case, no agent to help get your work out there. If an indie wants their book in stores, they have to find the stores that are willing, and jump through the hoops to get their titles there.

Those are all just pieces of the self publishing package, though. We are living in a future where an author can write their book, the way they want it written, and publish it in whatever formats they choose. The ebook has shaken up the publishing world, and I wanted to get in on the chaos before it was too late.

Plus, it's fun.

Thanks for reading,

buh bye then