Good Dreams: a poem

I dreamt of her last night,
The one who bore my love so long,
Silently carrying me.
Without complaint or praise,
She cherished the burden of my love.
Her strength hidden,
Behind the beauty of uncounted freckles,
And beneath the glistening locks.
Cumbersome I became,
But still, she carried me on,
With her smile, and her kiss.

I dreamt of her last night,
The one with undiluted beauty,
Though her smile fades.
The days become darker,
The nights glow red like a cigarette's cherry,
And sleep is rough without her.
Her skin so fair,
Her lips sweet, milk and honey,
The veil she wore, lifted for our kiss,
But her kisses are now gone,
From all but my dreams.



I don't write poetry often, though it is where my passion began. I had a poem published once (long ago, in a galaxy far, far away) but those times were dark, and so were my words. (Come on, I was an angsty youth, long before it was cool to be emo!)

Anyhow, I don't write many poems as of late. They scare me more than I would like to admit. Fractions of words and sentences, thrown onto the white for the sole purpose of exposing a bit of yourself... at least that's how I have felt when I have written poems.

But, it's something to post here. I spent the last week doing nothing, as far as writing was concerned. I'm back at it, though I obviously missed my own deadline :)

Oh well

Synopsis

So, I've begun work on my book synopsis. I'm hoping to get a few early submissions sent out while I finish up the last bit of the book. I am a little hesitant to send out the synopsis before I'm done, but the submission process can take quite some time... (Three months to a year in some cases)

It's nerve-racking! I am trying to summarize my story in about five pages. In those pages I need to make a publisher want to read the book, outline the whole story, mention all the important plot elements, talk about character growth, and most importantly; MAKE THE PUBLISHER WANT TO READ THE BOOK!

I'm trying not to stress, and I want to believe the story will carry itself... But, I find that it's times like these, when I need to be confident, that I get weighed down with self-doubt. There are so many people out there, writing stories, trying, hoping for the same thing I am hoping for. Most of them fail. It's just a fact.

I truly believe that this book will stand on it's own merits, I do. It's a story I would like to read, and I think that is the point. The worry, however, begins once I realize that sending out my submission, means that I am no longer in control. That scares me.

Oh well, I guess that's it for now

mmm, coffee

The title really has no meaning on this post. But, I do love coffee!

I've been very slackish when it comes to posting blogs. It doesn't have anything to do with my writing, I've been pretty good about that. I just feel like I should have something new to say when I post here, so I don't... sometimes :)

I finished my 9th chapter, and in a lot of books, that probably isn't even half done. However, I like a longer chapter format. So you can kind of see what 9 chapters means to me, it's 64,000 words or 218 pages. Still, it's got a ways to go. But, I intend to finish my first draft by the end of March, and I think I can do it. When I came back to Idaho in January, I had only 100 pages, or just around 30,000 words. So, if I can stick to my count, or put in a few long days, I know I can do this. It's about self-control, and I'm working on it in most aspects of my life now.

Eating less often, smaller portions, better food

NO MORE SODA!

Walk every day

Don't be so impatient

Write 2000 words a day

clean more...

anyhow, these are things I should have had control over a long time ago. So, I'm working on it.

Wish me luck

more about wrting

So, I started this blog so I could talk about my writing, and I guess I've done that. I think I need to do a bit more of that, at least that's how I feel today :)

It's ridiculous to think that I started writing "The City" nearly two years ago. I actually got the idea for the novel from a short story I wrote around that time. When I started it, I was extremely happy if I wrote two pages in one day... maybe once or twice a week.

I got about ten pages into the story, when a good friend of mine said something along the lines of, "Well, that's just a lot of bollocks. You can't write this whole story from first person, at least not the way you've done it." Yeah, I stopped writing for quite a while... Then, one day, I went back to it. I read what I had done, and realized that my friend had been right. The whole ten pages were filled with me tripping over the story, due to the point of view.

So, I changed it, fixed it, rewrote the whole bit. It was a start, and I was writing again :)

I "sprinted" through the next month or two, and reached something like thirty pages. It felt good. I was moving forward, and that meant that I was moving toward something. So, naturally, I stopped writing. Can't remember why, or if there was even a reason, but I stopped... for months.

Then I moved. I was having a hell of a time trying to find a job, so I spent my mornings playing with my computer :) When I ran out of fun stuff to do on the interwebs, I found my story again. Why hadn't I been writing? Where had the time gone? Imagine how far along I could have been, if I hadn't stopped. Oh well, too late to wonder now. And, I got back to work.

I was moving forward again, I even decided to set my own word count and work on this blog. It was good. I did some short stories and started some comic ideas with friends. Writing became something more than just a thing to do for me. Then my mom got sick...

Three months went by before she passed, I didn't write anything.

Three more after her funeral, I didn't write anything.

I came back to Idaho at the beginning of January, (literally, I got here on the first) with the purpose of finishing what I started. When I looked at my manuscript, I realized that I had 100 pages done. That was huge for me. I went back to work :)

And here I am now. Still not as far as I'd like to be, but I can see the end of this book, and have already started the next in my mind... and maybe even the third, which actually takes me back to the short story where it all began :) Anyhow, if I can keep from slacking, (feel free to yell at me randomly, assume I'm slacking because I'm good at it) I think that "The City" will be finished by the end of this month. (the first draft at least)

There ya go :) It may be a very choppy blog today, but now you know a bit more about my writing... or at least the story of my writing... I don't know, I think I've even managed to confuse myself :)